I was thrilled to read about Cosmopolitan’s Say No to Fat Talk campaign. In a time when young women are feeling increasingly pressured to fit the beauty ideal, it's wonderful to see that Cosmo is plugging body positivity to the women of Australia. Say No to Fat Talk has an interesting dimension for me because I am fat. I'm “obese” according to the body mass index, I wear plus-sized clothing and I jiggle all over. While Say No to Fat Talk is a useful message for all of us, as a fat woman I know all too well that the idea of self-love can be difficult to take on board when you are constantly told that your body is wrong - by those closest to you, by strangers, by our teachers and employers, by the media.
Because of all these harmful messages, fat people are spectacular at feeling like we don’t deserve good things because of our “imperfect” bodies. “I’ll go to the beach when I’m thin enough” or “I’ll date when I’m pretty enough” or “I’ll deserve the cupcake when I’ve exercised enough”. Lady, you are enough. As the brilliant Lesley Kinzel said:
“Trust me, you will never lie on your deathbed thinking, ‘I wish I’d berated myself more for not looking like a Photoshopped-to-perfection model in a lingerie ad,’ but you might think, ‘I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time worrying about what my thighs look like, when I could have been lying by the ocean and enjoying the sunshine.’”
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be writing a series of posts to show that having a fat body is not a barrier to health, fashion, sex and confidence. Hopefully I’ll be able to encourage a few of you to start wearing your confidence like armour.
I know that fat has become synonymous with a pile of negative attributes - lazy, unhygienic, gluttonous, ugly, unhealthy – so using the word may appear to go against Say No to Fat Talk. However, when I say "I am fat", I'm not insulting myself but instead stating a basic fact about my body. To me, “fat” is not a dirty word. It is no more of an insult than saying “I am short-sighted” or “I am tall”.
Those three little letters won’t stop being an insult until we stop letting it insult us. Reclaim it. I am not curvy or voluptuous or fluffy. I AM FAT. (I’m also awesome. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, for me or for any of you.)
The first Say No to Fat Talk Month may be over, but that won’t stop me strutting and jiggling; nor should you.
Big girls, slim girls, tall girls, petite girls…every single girl, stand up! You are perfect just as you are.