I never dreamed to be a ballerina when I was a little girl. I never asked my mom to buy me those books or toys that were ballet related either. I didn’t even bother asking my mom if I could join a ballet class. I was always the shy kid when it came to dancing. I remember sitting in a corner when I was around four, during a ‘Stop Dance’ game in Kindergarten. I didn’t want to dance. I didn’t want to move. I was afraid of making a fool of myself. I hated field demos when I was in Prep because we were forced to dance for the world to see. I just hated dancing.
When I entered grade school, I remember secretly wanting to join the dance club, but I had to shun that dream, because I was sure that dancing wasn't for me. I believed I was never going to fit in, because I was just bigger and fatter than my classmates. I was convinced that I wasn’t going to fit in anyway, so why bother?
One summer however, everything changed. My mother enrolled me to a summer Jazz Dance program when I was 7 years old. It was so hard for me to muster up enough courage to slip into my black leotard and tight-fitting jazz pants. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and feel my cheeks burn with shame. I was so fat. I was terrified to enter the dance studio because I knew I was going to look funny, to say the least. I walked into the room lined up with mirrors and ballet barres along the walls and found other girls who were around my age half my size. I wanted to cry and just walk out. This isn't for me. Or so I thought.
I got through that first session and I was surprised at how quickly I was getting the steps and memorizing the French terms my teacher was constantly muttering. For some reason, all the feeling of resentment from before was gone, and soon enough, I was enjoying it. I forgot about the big tummy that I had that bounced every time I jumped, or my arms that wiggled when I moved them. I had gained self-confidence. That summer, I had my first dance recital. I will never forget the feeling of being on stage for the first time and actually not caring what people thought of me dancing in a green velvet backless leotard.
Whatever, I was happy, and that was all that mattered.
Then I didn’t stop dancing after that summer.
The years went by, and I ventured off into more challenging dance genres. Would you believe I started training in ballet when I was in first year high school? A Plump Pinay, dancing ballet. Alongside with ballet, I have trained in hiphop, tap dance, contemporary and others in between. I have been blessed with opportunities to compete and represent my school in various competitions and other performances. Last May, I was one of the delegates of my dance school, the House of Dance to a four-day Dance Study Tour in Singapore.
I’d like the other Plump Pinays out there to not let their bodies dictate their fate. I want to send out a message that your size does not define you as a person. Go ahead and follow what your heart desires, go and be the best that you can be. Never mind what other people may think. I’m sure not everyone was happy when they watched me perform on stage, but that thought never stopped me from getting up on stage and giving my best. Don’t be afraid to take risks and to go against the flow. It’s not a crime to be yourself and to do what you want.
-- Margarita "Ret" Contreras, 18 years old
(all photos belong to The House of Dance)
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Isn't she beyond amazing (she's so gorgeous too!)??? I was seriously left in awe after reading her story. I just know a lot of you plumpies out there will look at body acceptance in a different light after this feature. :) Ret definitely lives out what it really means to be a certified Plump Pinay (I love how she called acknowledged herself as one in her article *kilig*)!
Ret, you don't know how much your story means to us, and to all the other plumpies out there. We are so proud of you! :) Work it girl! Show the world that big girls can excel in dancing too! Personally, you have seriously inspired me to do better with my dancing. We wish you all the best. :)
Plump love,
Danah