I have two. And they’re non-mainstream.
First is my mom. She has a style all her own. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it but really, she’s more of a fashionista than I am. I still use some of the clothes she used to wear in the 80s and 90s.
And my aunt. Tita Odette has the classiest taste in clothes. She taught me the art of “frugal shopping.” In other words, know that there are gems to be found in thrift stores. And her hand-me-downs are amazing.
Favorite store?
My mom’s closet. Random thrift stores. Etsy.com provides quirky inspiration.
How do you want people to see your style?
Unique. I’ve never been one to follow the trend. Yves Saint Laurent said, “Fashions fade, style is eternal.” So I work on the style, not the fashion. I work on what feels good and what helps express my mood for the day.
I always remember that each day is a chance to be something different, someone new. I am a complex individual with different facets and I love that clothes can express a part of my personality on any given day.
It took a few years to finally figure out what fits and what doesn’t, what’s understated sexy and what’s just plain trashy.
A good friend once described my style as classy bohemian. I love that.
Where do you get your confidence from?
God and family.
To be sure, there are times when my confidence dwindles to the negatives. It happens. Let it. It’s all part of the process. The most beautiful women in the world have those moments too.
My definition of confidence is simple: connection.
When you work on your connection with God, with family, with the people around you and the universe at large, you feel a surge of oneness that paves the way to inner confidence. And this is the kind of confidence that shines through every simple movement- from each smile that you offer to the constant twinkle in your eye.
Good people are attracted to honesty. Putting up a façade of confidence doesn’t work. It will be construed as arrogance. But if you are honestly connected, there is no need to pretend. Confidence will come as naturally as breathing.
How important are other people’s perception of you to you?
It depends.
On one hand, it certainly doesn't matter to me whether they see me as fit or fat, whether they think I have good style or not. I am who I am and I believe what I believe because of the way God has made me – not because of what society tries to push down my throat.
One of the things I confirmed through observation is that it’s all a matter of societal constructs. I am often seen as being the “right weight” in the U.S., but pretty plump back home, just because the society and culture that surround me are significantly different. The point is, how you see yourself should not be based on how the society sees you.
On the other, what’s important to me is the perception of goodness. I’m a free spirit, to be sure, but I’m also spiritual. It is important to me to be seen as a person, regardless of gender, race and certainly regardless of the amount I have in the bank. I am a daughter of God and it’s important that I am, first and foremost, seen that way.
Message to other Plump Pinays:
Strive for love.
It is the basis of all things that go right in this world. It is the basis of happiness, contentment, confidence and peace.
Love yourself for who you are. Love the people around you for who they are. Love the mundane things in your life, from dressing yourself up to washing the dishes.
My own writing revolves around this central theme and this is why love:
When I talk of love within these hallowed halls, I speak not of the kind between a man and a woman, a boy and a girl, a lady and a gentleman.
I speak of love that knows no gender, race, color or achievement--the kind that knows no bounds, no continent, no culture, no distance.
It is the love that carries across with a simple smile, a nod of the head that says "I understand," or eye contact that lasts a second that means "I see you."
I search not for love between a man and a woman. My time for that has not come. Instead, I search for love in all other forms - in the laughter of a child, the smile of a babe, the toothless grin of the aged us, the shared laughter of a hilarious joke, the common remembrance that the enjoyment of life is living it as if we'll never wake up tomorrow.
That is my kind of love. And that is why I write about it.
Stacy