hi. i am lov. I'm Indian. 20. and i am under 100lbs and just 5'5 in height. if you guys check my photos, you'll see that i have had some modeling experience besides being a full time student.
first story is about a designer who told me that i am too fat to be a model and that i should lose weight. i dropped out of that show immediately.
second,
i have been asked millions of questions about my weight and most of them mean one thing -- "how do you stay skinny?"
coming from a petite girl like me, it's hard for some girls to hear that i don't diet or do any exercise or sports, i just eat. and really, that is the only way to go, eat. what matters is your healthy -- not if your skinny or full-figured (yes! i resent using the word fat, i only use it when I'm talking about my steak). when i tell my friends this, they quickly respond, "easy for you to say." and then it is no longer "easy to say". despite having a small frame, i have been gifted with a sufficient size of breasts that i love. but after being consecutively hospitalized (plus the glucose intake), i began gaining weight as of December 2010. nothing drastic though, some days i gain 5 pounds, some days i lose 'em. this is due to the unending stress my final year has brought me.
i have been told stories about how Indian women are skinny when young, but later on gain enormous weight as they age due to the "ghee" that piles up. i've received jokes like, "you're a fake indian, you're not fat." i've never really contemplated on these things before and it was because i've been fine with my body and i'm not scared to gain weight. some say it's cos i'm naturally skinny but for me, it's simply because i am happy with what i have. sure i could enjoy a little more if God gave me some booty but hey, i can't have it all. it's not easy to be skinny -- being called "skinny" [all the time] is annoying. i love figure hugging dresses, but they only hug my boobs. how i wish i could gain some weight and have a toned body. i don't know why girls don't see that. i know it's a matter of preference but seriously, if you are gonna risk your health for a certain shape, what good is that? you still won't be happy. not being able to eat a cream-filled cupcake to fit in jeans that come in bigger sizes -- i won't make that sacrifice. of course people would say, "you're skinny and that's why your saying all this."
round 10 years of being "skinny" and now i see a stomach making its way out. i have reached the point where my body is saying, let me grow. and honestly it doesn't stop me from eating. sure, now it's the stomach but it will spread out. i'm gonna do some yoga for internal healing (i don't wanna be in a hospital again, at least not anytime soon), and when i have something to tone, i will tone. but i won't deprive myself of the joy that food brings me. sometimes, it's your body-type, and you'll have to work with it. my friends sometimes say, "you know, they won't let you model right?" i know, but if someone sees my talent, it goes beyond body shape. modeling is not about being skinny. it's beyond that, which is why my motto is "sell art and not skin". from here on, whether i gain weight or not, i'll work on being healthy. clothes, jewelries, shoes and other things are adjusted to humans; humans should not adjust to them.
again, i'm lov; 5'5, below 100 lbs. it doesn't matter how much you weigh, what matters is that you are healthy, happy and enjoying your life.
to stacy and danah: i'm really grateful and proud of you guys for raising awareness about this. i'm sure you are inspiring so many girls and women out there. full-figured women only start having problems with themselves mostly because of how people view them. also, i think it's important to know that some girls like me, shouldn't be blamed for our body. specially those who do not do any sort of ritual to be skinny.
much love,
- Lovprit Rai
