Beautiful in brown

We know for a fact that body-acceptance doesn't only refer to one's size/shape. The advertising media, always on the move to show women that you're never enough mainly for profit's sake (c'mon, you know how it works--"Your hair isn't as straight as this digitally altered one, buy this product NOW!" or "your skin isn't as perfect and poreless as the model's in this ad, GET THIS CREAM TO 'ACHIEVE' IT!"), has contributed to the body-hate and nitpicking of women's body parts. This more often than not result to women seeing their bodies in bits and pieces, and not as one whole being. Worse, it has power to make women think that their worth is based merely on their bodies, looks and appearance. Case in point, a lot of advertisements show that dark-skinned FILIPINAS (emphasis on our nationality, because we live in a tropical country which means we are meant to be and naturally dark) are inadequate, insecure and unable.

You know the scenario. It's been used in almost ALL skin-whitening products' commercials. Girl about to audition for whatever, or go out on a date, but all of a sudden doubts herself and shies away because she's dark-skinned. THEN TADAHHH!!! The magical whitening soap/lotion/pills appears on the screen, changes the model's color to an incredibly lighter tone, and unbelievably boosts her confidence levels too! This is just really annoying. There are so many degrading self-esteem messages they send out to the dark-skinned women targeted by these ads.

With our society's obsession to be lighter, we decided to feature Ria, a 19-year old Lasallian bronze beauty who's accepted her color and is enjoying life in her brown skin.

Have u always been dark?
Yes, I've always been dark. 19 years and counting.

Were there negative labels attached to your skin color growing up? If yes, how did these labels affect your personal view on your body image?
Yes, definitely. Especially in grade school, I'd often be teased by my male classmates and even some of my girl friends about my skin color. Some of my male classmates would call me 'negro' and other labels like that. Even in my own home as a child, I felt that my family wished that I was lighter. I even remember my lola used to buy me all these soaps and lotions to make me lighter, and she'd always remind me to avoid playing outside if it's sunny so that I wouldn't get darker.

Although generally I was always aloof about everyone's prodding, at some point, it got to me. We all know that there's a point in every girl's life when she cares about her appearance above anything else, and when I was in that period in my life, I felt the need to conform to the preferred ‘mestiza’ standard.

 

Did you ever dream of becoming lighter? Why/why not?
Yes, I did. I think I entertained the idea when I was around 13 years old or something like that. I wanted to become lighter because I was annoyed at all the people who teased me at school. Although it would never qualify as being bullied, (because I’d always fight back—boys included…ha ha!) it was enough pressure to have me do my rounds in the grocery, meticulously choosing the best whitening soaps and lotions that would make my skin lighter. I also had my fair share of insecurities with my morena skin, especially when my girl friends started to get boyfriends; and I attributed this to their being mestiza.

Did you personally struggle with your skin color?
I did struggle at times. I had my bouts of jealousy towards fairer-skinned girls, and resentment for my genetics. But all I had to do was to remind myself that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes—and color—and that in time, found out for myself that it is indeed true. :)

Have you ever experienced verbal abuse from family regarding this?
NEVER. I am blessed to have such a loving and supportive family. Crazy at times, but nonetheless, a very awesome family.

How did you come into terms with your color?
I came to terms with my skin color because I eventually realized that looking good was not exclusive to mestizas. I realized that being ‘beautiful’ means being comfortable in your own skin and working with what you have. I also have to credit my favorite college professor, Miss Judy Sibayan, for opening my eyes to diversity through her memorable and very thought-provoking class discussions.

I also found that people have become more open-minded and aware of the diversity of beauty, which I find ultimately inspiring. The Gutierrez sisters are a living proof of this and I greatly admire them for it. 

What is your message to other women who feel inferior because of their skin color?
First thing—WHY? Second—DON’T. Third—DON’T. Fifth—DON’T. If you find yourself feeling inferior because of your skin color, REPEAT.

Who/what to blame for this? Years and years of the media and the ourselves listening to the people around us who keep telling us that we are not perfect. This overlaps other beauty stereotypes; there’s the perpetual weight issue (which btw, if I think, if you are going to lose weight, it should be done because you want to be healthy and not because of vanity), there’s this, the issue of skin color, there’s also the one-million things wrong-with-your-face-so-get-plastic-surgery issue, among many others. But the thing is, these flaws will never cease to exist until you tell yourself that they don’t exist.

You know what? They probably don’t.

So learn to accept yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. The prettiest girls are those who are comfortable in their own skin.

What's a most memorable experience you've had regarding your skin color?
A guy once told me out-of-the-blue, in all seriousness, “You know what I love about you? Your color. I don’t know. You just…glow.” :)

Ria is a Communication Arts major. An aspiring writer, musician and a lover of fashion. She LOVES CHOCOLATE & coffee. Lastly, she's a supporter of various social issues.

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I wanna end this post with this awesome jazz muzak by Charmaine Clamor, an exquisite Pinay singer who gives us so many reasons to be proudly Filipina.

Feel good in your skin. Don't let anyone --AGAIN, ANYONE-- make you feel inferior because of your looks. OWN YOUR SKIN.You are beautiful! :)



Plump love,
Danah

Love, Skinny Iranian

It still really overwhelms us to know that our blog is able to reach thousands of people from all over the globe. You could just guess how I reacted when an Iranian reader emailed us this very heart-warming message. It's so elating to connect to women who truly understand our advocacy. Some of you may think we're all for plus-size empowerment ONLY. WE ARE FOR BODY ACCEPTANCE, fat, skinny, tall or short -- what we aim is that you, our readers, realize that everyone is far more than his/her looks, and that we are all BEAUTIFUL. :) And I'm glad to know that Yas gets that. :) Read on.

Dear Plumpies:

First of all as a skinny girl, I want to thank you for promoting the HEALTHY body image.

Many websites try to give different ( and by different I mean other than " normal " women ) a false sense of confidence by trashing other women, and I'm glad you're trying to avoid that as much as possible.

I'm Yas, one of your international readers, from Iran. Don't ask how many proxies I have to use to round government based blocks and filters to get to read you and other Asian bloggers daily blogs. I have always had a thing for south east Asian countries and cultures, and after discovering street style blogging I managed to take it to a whole new level. To top that off, I have known many Pinay women through out my life ( My uncle married one! ) and I can say Pinay women are the most confident women I have ever seen.

Most of the over weight, fat, chubby, fuller, whatever- you- like- to- call- it women, feel like losing weight guarantees their happiness. They feel like weight is the only thing holding them back from living the dream. Let me tell you something, that is not true. I'm almost 5.11 and 120 lbs, back in high school and even some time into my time in university I felt like the most miserable, out of place girl I have ever known. I was constantly made fun of at school over being too skinny. I nearly force fed myself, hoping to get the proportional dreamy fuller body that I thought would get me off the hook of the bullies. It recently came back in the form of numberphobia. I would weight myself ten times a day, and I beat that with a simple mentality : Weight is nothing but a number. No really, it is. I replaced my horrible habit that was turning into a torture with something much better. Every morning, I wake up in the morning, get naked and look at myself in the mirror. If I'm happy with what I see, then thats good enough for me. Unlike what I thought and I'm sure most women still think, strangers won't ask your weight.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, we all go through insecurities. It is not weight related, it's all about what is requested of us. Stores want us to be a certain size and they have showed that by not carrying larger or smaller size. Designers and Makeup artists want us to dress and look a certain way, by over advertising and pretty much forcing their products down our throats. At the end of the day it does come down to just being happy with ourselves. Believing that who we are and what we have is enough, and living for ourselves and no one else.

I can honestly say I envy women who are that content with themselves, regardless of their race, nationality or weight.

Thank you.

Skinny Iranian

PS: I can assure you, you and stacy are seriously two of the top bloggers I know, and I'm a style blog junkie.You have no Idea how important what you are doing is. If I had known about media outlets like your blog during my awkward stage, I would have had a much more enjoyable teenage-hood and there for a more pleasant high school stage. At the end of the day all women need to remember,its all about self acceptance and nothing more.

Yas, you are so beautiful. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being so open to our advocacy. You're one of the brightest readers we've ever encountered. :) I really enjoy our exchange of emails.

Plump love,

Danah

BECAUSE BODY ACCEPTANCE IS FOR EVERYONE.

I'm beyond elated to share with you an article submitted by a reader and friend. It was really surprising to me, because when I received the email from her, I instantly wondered what it would be about because she is not the direct audience we wanna promote our blog to. After reading the article, I just had to post it here, because it truly speaks of our advocacy.

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FROM A SKINNY GIRL'S SIGHT

hi. i am lov. I'm Indian. 20. and i am under 100lbs and just 5'5 in height. if you guys check my photos, you'll see that i have had some modeling experience besides being a full time student.

first story is about a designer who told me that i am too fat to be a model and that i should lose weight. i dropped out of that show immediately.

second,

i have been asked millions of questions about my weight and most of them mean one thing -- "how do you stay skinny?"

coming from a petite girl like me, it's hard for some girls to hear that i don't diet or do any exercise or sports, i just eat. and really, that is the only way to go, eat. what matters is your healthy -- not if your skinny or full-figured (yes! i resent using the word fat, i only use it when I'm talking about my steak). when i tell my friends this, they quickly respond, "easy for you to say." and then it is no longer "easy to say". despite having a small frame, i have been gifted with a sufficient size of breasts that i love. but after being consecutively hospitalized (plus the glucose intake), i began gaining weight as of December 2010. nothing drastic though, some days i gain 5 pounds, some days i lose 'em. this is due to the unending stress my final year has brought me.

i have been told stories about how Indian women are skinny when young, but later on gain enormous weight as they age due to the "ghee" that piles up. i've received jokes like, "you're a fake indian, you're not fat." i've never really contemplated on these things before and it was because i've been fine with my body and i'm not scared to gain weight. some say it's cos i'm naturally skinny but for me, it's simply because i am happy with what i have. sure i could enjoy a little more if God gave me some booty but hey, i can't have it all. it's not easy to be skinny -- being called "skinny" [all the time] is annoying. i love figure hugging dresses, but they only hug my boobs. how i wish i could gain some weight and have a toned body. i don't know why girls don't see that. i know it's a matter of preference but seriously, if you are gonna risk your health for a certain shape, what good is that? you still won't be happy. not being able to eat a cream-filled cupcake to fit in jeans that come in bigger sizes -- i won't make that sacrifice. of course people would say, "you're skinny and that's why your saying all this."

round 10 years of being "skinny" and now i see a stomach making its way out. i have reached the point where my body is saying, let me grow. and honestly it doesn't stop me from eating. sure, now it's the stomach but it will spread out. i'm gonna do some yoga for internal healing (i don't wanna be in a hospital again, at least not anytime soon), and when i have something to tone, i will tone. but i won't deprive myself of the joy that food brings me. sometimes, it's your body-type, and you'll have to work with it. my friends sometimes say, "you know, they won't let you model right?" i know, but if someone sees my talent, it goes beyond body shape. modeling is not about being skinny. it's beyond that, which is why my motto is "sell art and not skin". from here on, whether i gain weight or not, i'll work on being healthy. clothes, jewelries, shoes and other things are adjusted to humans; humans should not adjust to them.

again, i'm lov; 5'5, below 100 lbs. it doesn't matter how much you weigh, what matters is that you are healthy, happy and enjoying your life.

to stacy and danah: i'm really grateful and proud of you guys for raising awareness about this. i'm sure you are inspiring so many girls and women out there. full-figured women only start having problems with themselves mostly because of how people view them. also, i think it's important to know that some girls like me, shouldn't be blamed for our body. specially those who do not do any sort of ritual to be skinny.

much love,

- Lovprit Rai

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To Lov: I wanna say thank you for this beautifully written article, and for taking the time and effort to share with us your thoughts and experiences. It's amazing how you prove that our blog's theme and message can be addressed to all shapes and sizes. And even though you only use the word FAT for your steak, remember, it's just an adjective, and it's not a bad word. ;)

Plump love,

Danah ♥