I think it’s hard to find an environment where self-love, security, and acceptance exist. In our world obsessed with the attaining "perfection" when it comes to looks, it’s completely normal to trash talk your own body and find something “hideous” and “wrong” with it to point out—not only to your own self—but to others as well. This type of body bashing is insane, degrading, and I ABHOR it. I hate it with passion.
Unfortunately, our office is one of those environments where it always happens. Every day there’s a colleague (male or female, it doesn’t matter) who would express disgust/shame/hatred/dislike for a certain body part (if not the complete body itself) for being fat. It’s either a part is getting too big, or they’re getting too heavy. I see some of my officemates weighing themselves early in the morning, and again during mid-afternoon, and fret at the slightest change of the digits they see on the scale (I guess they don’t know the fact that a human’s weight fluctuates with an increase or decrease of 2-4 pounds in a day). Their obsession about weight—NOTE: WEIGHT, NOT HEALTH—saddens me, and I would always find a way to compliment them to make them feel pretty despite them feeling otherwise about their own bodies. And I do mean what I say. I really think I have good-looking colleagues, and I ain’t bullshitting on that. ;)
Aside from the girls constantly expressing their disapproval of their bodies, there’s also a colleague who would always throw the word fat around. It was obvious that his intention was to tease, if not insult. If he notices you packing on extra pounds, he would always come up with different ways of “warning” you. He’d tell you to not get a second serving of lunch, which he did to me, (we have free buffet breakfast and lunch in the office—YAHOO! indeed), or he’d scare you with the thought of you looking like “a rolling ball”.
Yesterday, he jokingly called my officemate “Miss B” because she obviously gained weight—significantly in the tummy area. And B stood for—you’ve guessed it!—Miss Buntis (Pregnant). And that’s exactly what my male officemate was hinting with the regular-word-turned-acronym-turned-insult. Although it is very noticeable that she got chunkier, she’s not someone you’d call fat. She just got a bit curvy, but she still looks regular-sized to me.
The name-calling offended my officemate, which resulted to dramatic sobs delivered jokingly--although I knew she got hurt. I immediately tried to alleviate the situation by saying, “Bakit ka ba nagpapa-apekto jan? Huwag ka nga makinig jan! (Why are you letting him affect you? Don’t even listen to him!)” But my officemate won’t stop with the vocal expression of her dented self-esteem, that at one point, she even kidded that “Miss B” would soon stand for “Miss Bulimic”.
It is true, though. She did gain weight.
It’s disturbing. It’s disturbing to me how in this whole situation, it’s so apparent that so much negativity has been associated with the word FAT that it seems like it's everyone's worst nightmare to be described as that. Once a woman is called fat, the typical reaction would be insulted, hurt, or offended, even if it’s an obvious fact that she is fat. I don’t get it. How is being called what you actually are offensive? Imagine someone telling me “OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE A REDHEAD!!!” and I’d just bawl for being called that.
There’s another interesting incident that happened. It’s our church’s prayer and fasting week, and some of my male officemates joined the fast. Just a few days ago, one of my officemates tells another that he lost weight. “Pumayat ka ah. (You lost weight.)” This statement immediately plasters a huge grin on his face, with a reply of “Thank you ah!”
If I must point out, my officemate was merely being descriptive when she said he lost some weight. She didn’t actually compliment him, but he assumed she did, that’s why he responded like he was given one.
For the longest time, when body bashing and shaming occurs inside the work place, I would just defend the one being mocked and try to steer the conversation to a different direction. That’s it. That’s all I did. I was a bit scared to speak up because I was the only one who believed that body shaming is utterly wrong and should be put to an end. It also didn’t help that I was the youngest employee in Yahoo! Philippines at 21 years old. I had fear that they'd think I was pikon, and would talk about me behind my back for being overreacting when they’re just “joking” or “teasing”. But truth is, it bothered me. I’m bothered that there’s always a time for this type of body negativity inside the workplace which is my space too. I get annoyed, exasperated. I get pissed mostly at myself for not trying hard enough.
But today, I decided to stand my ground and do what I can to at least lessen (if not totally eradicate) the existing fat stigma.
Part of it is probably me PMS-ing, but mostly it’s because of what a male officemate said yesterday to the offender, after my female colleague calmed down after being called “Miss B”.
“Oy bakit mo sinabi yon? Alam mo bang yun yung worst na pwede mo sabihin sa babae? (Why did you say that? Don’t you know that’s the worst thing you can call a woman?)"
He was trying to defend her, trying to make her feel better.
This statement was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or in my case, the statement that unleashed the activist/feminist/body revolutionist in me BIG TIME (pun intended). It really got to my nerves. I immediately IM’ed (through Yahoo! Messenger, of course) my best friend, and told her how pissed I am for what has just been said. I typed heavily at my keyboard being fueled by anger (I also didn't find it funny what my officemate said about developing bulimia, because after having gone through it, I know for a fact that enforcing an eating disorder on one's self is not something hilarious to be joked about). Then, I realized I was madder at myself for not doing anything about it, despite the fact that it consumed me emotionally.
I told my best friend that that was it, and tomorrow (which is today) I would put up posters all over the office to make people think twice about the words they say and how they react to things.
She made me calm down by telling me that some of my officemates were exactly the reason why I’m a body image warrior. And she was absolutely right.
So this morning, I made this and posted 3 copies in different areas of our office.
Feel free to download the poster!
One of the 3 bulletin boards where I pinned the FAT poster
I also did this to our weighing scale, just to remind the lovely ladies in the office not to fret so much about their weight, because they’re more than just a number.
I know all the body love/fat acceptance revolutionists like myself would see it as great feat if women of all shapes and sizes would be secure in themselves and not take offense when the word fat is thrown at them. I myself know for a fact that once we’ve reclaimed “fat” and removed all its stigma, I’d be giving myself a pat on the back and feel extremely happy and content, knowing that finally more women are getting it, and I am part of making a change in their self-esteems.
-S
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the work environment of the office mentioned above.
