We all have our own body acceptance story to tell, and since what we want is for women to get inspiration from one another in this big, fat community of love, here's what Carla has to share. I'm sure, like me, you'll love her spunky attitude. Prepare to munch on her nuggets of [body] wisdom! :)
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To borrow words from Erwan Heussaff, I got to this size because of a "sedentary lifestyle." Being in a family of 10 kids, you learn to take every opportunity you get. This includes snacks, chocolates, chips and normal food. I grew up being toted to restaurant after restaurant with my dad while he took business meetings. Visiting restaurants and trying the food was part of our bonding, midnight runs to Wendy's included. He spent so much time with work that when he realized that we could accompany him, we never stopped. Until now, he and I still attend meetings together.
As I always said while getting stuffed with yummy food, "if you die fat, at least you die happy." Or something along those lines.
When I was younger everyone used to call me "taba," or worse, refer to me as "the fat one" and each mention still kind of stings, especially with strangers. I never let it get to me, and just ignored it. Even worse for me is when people referred to me as "cute," like a nicer and politer way of saying that you were too old to still be that fat. I still didn't let it get to me. Really. What else could I do but ignore them? I didn't want to lose my weight, I was fine! And when will I ever run into these strangers ever again anyway?
I guess I could say that fashion kind of changed the way I looked at myself. When I started caring about how I dressed and as I developed my own style, "taba" turned to "ganda" or "sexy" and cute eventually became "fashown," which is as good a compliment as any. I guess that means that my confidence actually shows now? Now only my dad calls me "taba" as a pet name, and I love him all the more for it.
I've kind of accepted my weight, despite everyone around me being a lot thinner. Several people have told me that I would never have a boyfriend because of my size. While I have never really had a boyfriend, I shrug off the thought that it's because of my weight. Please. If a guy can't accept that this is how I look, then he's not worth my time, even if it does hurt to think so sometimes.
I love the way I look now. I love that I have curves, I love the fact that I've got more "assets" (or "boobs that could save the world" as my friends always say) and I love being who I am. Sure I would like to lose weight, but I don't mind not losing it. My work involves going to restaurants and eating delicious things (possibly getting bigger with each day), but I gain confidence from the fact that I know who I am. I'm not just a curvy body and a pimply face. I'm a person who can sing, write and draw the pants off of anyone while giving them a sweet smile.
I'm actually comfortable in my own skin now, and I love it!
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Plump love,
Danah