For some of you who don't know who this fine vixen is, she's the grand winner of SM's Plus Size Model Search phase 2. I was given the privilege to write an article for Philippine Star's Y-Style section on plus size shopping and her feature was beside ours. Her confidence and gorgeous curves are enough for me to send her an interview request. She was gracious enough to say yes, so here ya go! Lots of body wisdom ahead! :)
How old are you? I'm 24 years old.
What is your dress size? When wearing dresses it`s usually 2L/3L. With pants and tops, I`m a size 3L.
Have you always been plus size? If not, what changed your body?
I have always been the chubby kid (or big-boned as others say) since childhood but it never bothered me even if there were bullies making fun of my size. In my mind, I have always been beautifully different. It was in my teen years when I got hit by insecurities. My desire of becoming a model or being part of the showbiz industry added to my insecurities too. I have always had the guts to go to auditions or go-sees to make it no matter what other people say, but it is quite hard when you put your wholehearted effort to show up only to get turned down and advised to lose weight then come back without even getting to know your potential. So at age 15, I started dieting to fit in. I thought it was the only way to make it. To lose the weight, I only ate bananas and biscuits and drank water which made me a grumpy and irritated person because I was always feeling hungry. I have always been the type of person who finds a little bit of happiness every time I taste amazing kinds of food, so giving this up made me a changed person. My lowest weight was 57 kg from my normal weight of 75kg at that time. I thought, "this is it; I have lost the weight and now I will make it big." So I auditioned again and again but still got rejected by most of them with different reasons this time--I was too shy, my arms were bigger than my torso, smaller butt will make me more appealing, I was too foreign looking--the criticisms never really ended. The worst thing was my personality changed from happy-go-lucky and worry-free to always being conscious on being what others see as perfect. After several more attempts to make it , I finally caved in and went back to what was once the comfortable me. But it was over for my career that time.
Were there any internal struggles you had to face to come into terms with your body?
There were a lot of struggles I had to go through. But it has always been the side comments that irritated me like, “you'd be prettier if u lose weight”, “you will get a lot of sickness if you don't lose the weight”, and this one I despise the most: “don’t eat a lot, you have enough fats stored.” After hearing these over and over again, I kind of just developed this I-don’t-care-what-you-think-of-me attitude. I figured no matter what I do, some people will always find the negative part of people to put them down. Now, I just smile at these comments and think it must really bother some people that I'm happy being a size 12 and not the ideal size 0. Why should I dictate my body? For me, as long as my body functions the way it should and it's healthy, size doesn't matter. Being a mom of 2, I have never blamed my pregnancies for my weight for it is who you are that matters. After every pregnancy, my body has always found itself to its regular size and maintained it there.
Have you always been this confident in your body? Where do you get your confidence from?
I don’t really know where my confidence comes from but I thank God for giving me strength to fight bullies and gifting me with self-love. Plus, I think my family who always tells me I am beautiful really helped me a lot. I am thankful that I'm one of those few people who looks into a mirror and finds herself beautiful in her own way. Some even told me I could be overconfident at times. I have always loved dressing fashionably even when I get criticized for it. But it’s the feeling of the right outfit when going out that makes me feel confident. Just because I’m a big girl does mean I have to hide in clothes. For me, there is no hiding something that is pretty obvious. So instead, just embrace it and have fun with clothes within your personal limits.
Have you always wanted to become a model? What made you decide to join the model search?
I have always wanted to be a model ever since I was young and thought that it was easy as long as your desire was of pure heart. I did not know that there were far too many stereotypes and limits in the industry. As I grew bigger, I felt the hope slipping away from my dream. I thought to myself, "why can't I be a model like other girls?" But I just felt defeated 'cos the industry would not adjust to plus size models easily. As I was to accept the harsh truth, I was surprised when I was shopping for clothes at SM City Cebu when a saleslady approached me and told me about a plus-size competition they were having so I smiled and took a flyer and submitted photos. Deep inside, I really wanted to win and thought that this was my last chance to make my dreams come true. I was surprised how happy and relaxed the competition was because we, the top 8 girls, are accepted as we are--no pressure, no competition, no DIETS--just be you! That’s what I did and it worked wonders for me.
Who is your style icon? My style icons are Katy Perry (her style brings back my inner child and she has fun with fashion) and Tyra Banks (her elegance and grace, I love).
Favorite store? I always love searching for exciting places that offer fashionable clothes but there are a lot of stores that offer a up to a certain size only , one size fits all or up to 31-inch waist jeans. That’s why Jus Jeans and Jus Ur Size are my favorites 'cos they have colors and style. Some plus size stores offer matronly clothing which I am not that excited about. I mean, I don’t want to dress like I'm 40 years old, I want to dress my age and have fun with fashion and flaunt my curves.
Favorite piece/s of clothing to wear? Figure-flaunting dresses, jeans that stand out/has style and cute matching outfits.
How do you want people to see your style? I want my style to be young, fun but still classy. I want to show people that plus size models can wear colorful dresses, fitting jeans and not just black.
What makes you feel beautiful and sexy?
There is only one thing that gave me freedom: accepting myself and not trying to change to please others. If the people around you really care for you, they will love for who you are. I mean, how many times does our looks change in a lifetime? But does your personality change? Does your heart’s desire change with your weight? People will always have something to say about you and that is a part of life, but it is up to you if let them get under your skin.
What's your message to other aspiring models? To those who are scared to try out for auditions because they feel like their weight is a hindrance?
As Nike quotes: Just Do It! Do it for you, if that’s what makes you happy. The rest will follow. Explore your potential and know your limits. Life is too short to be scared because society has a different idea of what is beautiful and sexy. It's all about feeling sexy and not looking sexy. You could have a perfect body but if it does not come from the inside, your insecurities will show.
What's your message to other Plump Pinays? Flaunt what you love about your bodies and do not focus on what you don’t like. Accept yourself and do not compare yourself to others. We are all different and if everybody could learn to accept that fact, then there would be less haters in this world. Be positive. Smile and the world will smile back at you. J
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Plump love,
Danah