Much love, Alex

E-mails like this make our hearts melt. :) 

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Dear Danah and Stacy,

I am super amazed with how you guys came up with Plump Pinay. I also have been enjoying your blog entries!

People call me Alex. And yes, I am a Plump Pinay. A proud one… J

I have been big since highschool, but have been “siksik” (chubby) as a child. I struggled hard to endure the emotional stress the whole weight thing had been giving. It was hard being rejected because of my size. The name calling was quite nasty too. I studied in an all-girls school, where beauty was just for “thin, chinita, petite and fair-skinned” ladies. Girls like me, never really had a chance to be considered beautiful, but deep inside I knew… I have whatever it takes to be one!

I was raised in a household where good food is always ready. I enjoyed it, but I would say I was not the matakaw (glutton) type. Not that I’m being defensive, but I knew my limits. I tried hard not to let the “fat” issues get to me. I did this by dressing up and doing all that I can to tell the world how happy I am with the size I wear. Still, people would end up saying: “Maganda ka sana, antaba mo naman (You're pretty, but you're fat)…” or “Sayang (too bad), you’re pretty, but you gotta lose weight…” Something to that effect, even if I tried to ignore it, part of me still got hurt… Maybe because those comments most of the time came from family! It even came to a point that a lola of mine commented on my size while having one family dinner, and she then went to my seat and said, “Oh, baka mamayat ka… (you might lose weight)” then she slid her left-overs on my plate! That for me was the endpoint of having picked on. I stood up and made sure everyone heard me… “Excuse me, I just lost my appetite and my respect for you.” Sometimes, people just do a little too much without realizing the impact of their actions. Being big doesn’t always mean you eat too much. It doesn’t always mean you’re a slob and lazy.

It was a relief to be away from home in college, in a university where no one really cares about who and what you are. It was then that I decided, “I WILL SHINE, AND NO ONE’S GONNA STOP ME!” And I did. I had to prove to the world that being fat means being miserable, incapable, slow, limiting… Joined the college council and did a short time in the track varsity. Little did I know that I was developing PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which is supposedly part responsible for my weight gain, which is one of PCOS’ symptoms. I was 19 when I found out. I weighed 172lbs at 5’4. I was put on medications, oral contraceptives to regulate my period and supposedly help in taking my weight down together with exercise and diet! That lasted for two years. The doctor, however, didn’t expect that the counteraction of too much estrogen from the pills would cause one cyst to drastically grow. By the time I was 22, I was 180lbs! Even if I kept on exercising and dieting…  It didn’t help, instead I was getting worse. In April 2010, I underwent surgery for what was supposed to be just a cyst removal, but my right ovary was badly affected as the growth seemed cancerous, I lost my right ovary.

After the surgery and 2kgs of fat taken off my tummy, I could imagine how people would continuously try to bother me and my flabby self, with them judging and without knowing the weight of the ordeal I had to go through. Trust me, the name calling just never ends. I get made fun of, even to this day. The surgery gave me a realization that I was given a second chance. And I was not going to waste it. And no one’s going to stop me.

Reading your posts heightened my desire more to be proud of who am I, what I have become and be proud of what I have. After all, you’re not given second chances to live the same way, the only best way to live life is to be the best that you can be. And that’s what I’m doing. At 175lbs, I'm at my happiest! :) Probably the happiest I've ever been. I know I can start making a difference and standing up for girls like me is one, another is trying to always see the beautiful side of things no matter how bad they are. :)

More power to you guys! Keep it up and continue inspiring! :)

Isn't she lovely? :) -- Danah

Much love,

Alex

***
Alex, thank you so much for your words bring life. You are beautiful. 

Stop assuming. Stop judging.

We received an email from a supporter and a reader* sharing her very eye-opening story. What she discloses to all of us is a very good reminder to bite our tongues when we have the urge to jokingly comment (and I'm not talking about compliments here) on someone's physical appearance, because gaining weight doesn't only come from overeating and laziness--like most people tend to think. 

*She wishes to remain anonymous.

***********

A few years ago, I was thin. I wore skimpy shorts, dresses, and skirts. I had self-confidence. Until one time, I went to the doctor to have my ovaries checked because my [monthly] period was irregular. There was even a time that my "red flag" wasn't up for a year! Back then, it was no big deal since my mom had the same issue. After several tests, it was confirmed. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). It is one of the most common female endocrine disorders and is thought to be one of the leading causes of female subfertility. The principal features are obesity, anovulation (resulting in irregular menstruation) or amenorrhea, acne, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS. Yes, I am sick. Yes, there’s a big chance that I won’t be able to have a baby.

And yes, I am gaining weight.

So everytime a person tells me, “Hoy! Tumataba ka!” I just keep quiet. I just think to myself, if you only know what’s going on with my life.

I am sad but at the same time, grateful because there are people like you girls of this blog who will understand me and help me to get my self-esteem back. When I started reading your blog, I felt good. I wanted to pole dance just like Danah, I want The Boudoir Dolls to snap a picture of me because I have never been in a photoshoot ever! And lastly, I want to be proud of my body and myself. ;)

Thank you guys!

This is just a reminder to not judge other people because you have no idea what’s really going on!

***********

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."

Niccolo Machiavelli

Have a great Sunday, plumpies! ;)

Love your beautiful body,

Stacy